Confusing part 1

Hmmm really arh ...
This feeling started getting stranger and stranger...
I think I should really go see a doctor or psychiatrist to check my self . What's wrong with me ??
First thing , when I asked him whether he met any girls beside me and he said yes , I felt like my heart got a tight slap .
He even talked about this one girl he met ,  having problem of her life and he showed his little sympathy . Hmmm :(
Dunno why this feeling started getting stranger and stranger .


"I LIKE YOU"

Only three words . One sentence . But dunno how so difficult to be told to him .
So many questions about him swimming inside my mind . Do I bore him ? Am I boring ? Am I ugly ? Am I so bad ? Does he like another girl ? Or does he look for no girlfriend ? Is he okay ? Should I confess ? Should I wait for him to confess to me first ?
I really wished he could understand that when I say 'hmmm ok' , there're lots of questions behind it and when I say 'I'm okay' , there's a little jealous feeling behind it . But ya... only wish ...

I really don't understand about this feeling anymore .
I hate liking someone .
I hate , I hate , I hate !
Especially when the guy doesn't want me at all .

Even he forget his saying about taking me to that place this week ??
Oh shit , I'm so forgetable...
I'm hopeless , and... ya , priceless
I feel so stupid , why I like him ??
When he isn't even interested in me ?
Ya , maybe this is my way , this is my track , that I always like the guy who doesn't like me ...
or maybe it's my fate already to be forever single ? I dunno . It's His life , not mine , the soul inside my body is only from Him lending it to me . So ya , later I have to give it back to Him also .
So , just let it be just like what He wants it to be . I'm only His slave , just let it happens to me depends on His words...