Everyone (not really everyone , I mean mostly ) loves their mother . They mostly talk about their mother as an angel , a nice woman in their life . Honestly , I'm always jealous every time I heard they talk about their mom's kindness . So happy , having such a good mother .
I know every mother will have good sides . Even my boyfriend's mother is also kind and nice . Smile everyday , not strict , never whine even though she works everyday . Hmmm I feel so bad now , comparing my mum to other mothers . I know it's actually bad , bur I don't know what else to do . I feel so pressured now . A mother is supposed to give support to the daughter , not to let her daughter down , not to block her daughter's from a way to successful future . How I wish I could have an awesome mother , who is nice , kind , warm - hearted , smile everyday , high patience , humorous , and never abuse the kids .
I can tell that my mom is so strict , abusive , easy to say bad words , super damn low patience , and likes comparing me to others . Even like in the middle of me doing my bloody difficult homework which needs a high concentration , she still wanted to bother me about me being fatter (note : when everyone else in my school or even my boyfriend and they are not blind , say that I'm not fat ) . It's really bothering me . I tried to deny her , like telling her that my friends and my boyfriend said that I'm not fat , but then she said that I should not believe them , only people who never seen me for a long time will know whether I'm getting fat or not . Hmm alright then . I told her about the camera angle was not right , and she said that there's nothing to do about camera angle , fat means fat . Seriously , it distracted me from my work and made me not in the mood anymore to do my work . You know what ? If I told her that I can't argue with her about being fat right now coz I was doing my work , then I can guarantee that she would be more angry . She would say that I'm not filial , mother talks to me and I choose to ignore her . The thing is that I'll be crazy if I do what she wants , which is listen to her , then ended up argue with her . Seriously , I don't get it , how my father dated her in past time . I mean , why he wants an Abusive , Irritating , Dangerous , and Sadistic (AIDS) woman like her ? Every time I throw this question to my father , he just keeps quiet . Honestly , I think other man will not be able to handle her . Only my super Dad can . She also often says bad things to my father , said that he's stupid , or idiot , or never made a good decision for the family . I think if I said that to my future husband which is my boyfriend , he'd be super damn mad or angry , then throw me into the fridge to cool down .
I honestly don't know how to handle my mom . She's sometimes nice , but more often being scary . I can guarantee you that if you were me , you'd be ended up in mental asylum or called "Hougang Chalet" in Singapore .
Also , what she wants sometimes is not exactly what she wants . You must guess it by your self correctly .
For example , she wants me to have boyfriend , during college , so that I won't face any difficulties to get married in future , coz I'll be working in fashion industry and there will rarely be a normal man working there , mostly are gays . No offence but it's true !
Then now , when I have boyfriend , she keeps nagging me this and that . She said that I should have got boyfriend when I graduated from college and go to work . What ? She wants a gay son in law , doesn't she ?
She is always paranoid about me having sex with my boyfriend . She said that virginity is important , I can't loose it till I'm married . Hmm okay , I'm sorry about this , my mom is so conservative . Not me though , I'm so damn open . To me , having sex is not a 'wow' thing anymore , everyone did , even though they're not in relationship sometimes . I don't mean to say that I do the same thing like them . I'm me . I'll just have sex whenever I'm ready . If I'm ready and my partner is ready then I'll do , if not , then I won't ever do . Simple as that . Even though one day I'm married , if I'm not ready for sex then I will not do (but most slightly will do !!! Aww yeah !!!) .
No sex also doesn't mean I'm dead or something , I have my right hand , left hand , just put it below and satisfy my self . Done ! Sex toys are everywhere nowadays also .
I tried to convince her that I am still a virgin like what she wants . The thing is that she barely can trust me . She's always scared I had sex before . To be honest , no , I still respect her , just do it after married , cause for now , I'm not ready for it .
So ya , back to the topic . Any suggestion on what should I do now ?
