Sometimes ...

Well , one week plus no blogging ...
Been busy lately . I had to clean the house . Ya , busy physically and psychologically .
I've been thinking too much . There's a statement stating that why do we need to think about something when that thing never think about us ? But , oh well ... Guess I've been sensitive lately .  I dunno also what's wrong with me . Am I getting crazy ?
I also dunno what's happening with him also . People say that guys need their own time sometimes . Not just people , magazines , and Internet also said the same thing . I'm learning how to give him time . Then everytime it's killing me , I try to focus my self again . I try to be like him , I try to numb my self , I try everything on my best . Sometimes , I think that I'm no longer interesting for him . Then he thinks that he's a bad bf . I told him already that he's the best I have ever had . What can I do to make him stop saying that he's bad bf sia . Do I have to shout to the whole world that he's the best I have ? Or do I have to keep on silence ? Or what ?
Sometimes I think do I make him mad or something ? Or do I annoy him ? Do I piss him off ? I can't read his mind . So I dunno .
I'm a girl , I don't need time to be alone .
Sometimes I think , does he really want to talk to me ? Or do I make him bored ?
He said that he can't seem to make me happy . What ?? No , if I think that he can't make me happy , I would take a quick action , I'd find other guys . But see , do I find other guys ? No . I don't even try to find one . I just want to be with him , that's all . No matter what . I'll always be faithful to him .
Maybe I'm not that kind of girl with pretty face , slender , and nice smile . But one thing I can be . I can be faithful to him . I'm also not that kind of girl , who can anyhow slap or angry because of small things . I also accept everything about him . I don't expect that kind of perfect man , rich and handsome or something , just like what every mother wishes . As long as he's kind to me , and my type , and my parents agree (normally this one depends in how I tell my parents about him ) . Then now the situation is just right , my parents agree , my bro also agree , then he's also my type . So what I want to do is maintain this relationship . My mom also said that I must try to be faithful to him . If can make him be my last and I'm his last .
Ya lor , I don't want short relationship . What's relationship ? Relationship is a process to know and understand someone well . If we keep relationship as a game or for fun , then means we're wasting time , when can we know and understand someone well ? My mom said that my age is not considered as young age anymore as a girl , means I have to start looking for a man who can be my entire life partner in future . Who can be with me for my whole life , for my entire life , who can protect me and take care of me . That's why must started from now . It's not the time to play play . I also dun wanna play play , wasting time and energy .
That's why , the way I look for bf also not like anyhow pick someone to be with me . I must be wise . I must see first . Once I found out that he's not ok , then don't date lor . But if I think he's ok , and my type , then I'll be ready to have him as my bf .
I still remember the first time I met him , I never guessed that he'll be as this important to me now . I know already that he's different from the others , first day I met him . That made me feel impressed by him . Then I started to talk more to him , to know him better . After that I started being interested in him , then had a crush on him , then now we're in relationship .
Then sometimes my mom asks me whether I'm ok with him or no . Then I said that I'm ok , we're fine . Sometimes , when there's a small problem between us , I think that we just need to relax , and try to settle the problem . We can't just run away from the problem . Coz in future , we can't run away always .