Ya , I actually planned to sleep till 12.00 PM today , but early in the morning , like around 6.00 AM , my mom called me by Viber , asking me whether I was ok or no . Hmmm and ya , I think my feeling is right , she does always know whatever happens to me . She asked me about relationship , "Did you just have boyfriend ?"
I was like quite shock this morning , got a call and the question was like that . Quite surprising . So ya , no choice , I can't lie , she's my mom , lying to mom isn't good right ? So , I told her that it's true lor . Then lucky she didn't lecture me again , she even supported me .
Then after that my Dad came back from market and talked to me on phone also , and ya as usual , he always talked about something useless . I know that , because it's difficult for him to find any topic , so he kept talking nothing , for example : "Where are you ? (of course in hostel lor , Sunday morning actually is a sleeping hour); You know yesterday I met your friends , they wanted to join you in NAFA (impossibru !); Anyway , your puppy at home is so demanding ; Your friends said that I'm handsome (what ?) ; Hey , don't play game every day ! Do your homework ! (huh ? Since when I started becoming a gamer again ?) ; Your brother is useless , everyday play game only (like father like son , hahaha) ; Your mother always takes long time to do make up (aiyoh , woman mah , always like that one , I'm an exception though , lol) ; I just bought aircon and I put it in my room (why never buy one for me also ?? :"( ) ; Hey , I just bought chicken porridge , your favorite one ! (ok then send me one , using DHL to Singapore , lol) ; Yesterday I brought your mom shopping to Surabaya (bo jio !!) "
Then after that my Dad got online on FB , so my mom told me to talk using web cam via FB . Aiyoh then the next thing happened was I taught my Dad to use web cam and headset via FB . So difficult sia , since my parents are not good in this stuff . They don't really care about technology . Took around 30 minutes teaching my Dad how to use the webcam and headset . You know ? He said that the web cam was broken since I told him that I couldn't see his face . Then I asked him "Have you pressed the 'on' button on the web cam ?" He said "Oh no , I haven't" So I was like "Aiya , of course la , press that button first then can see ..."
The next thing happened was he asked me about how to use the headset , then I asked him to plug in the cable of the headset to the CPU . Then he just anyhow plugged in without seeing what hole was that . I think he plugged in into the wrong holes , no wonder couldn't hear him properly . So then lucky my mom knows a bit about this matter so she helped him to plug in into the right one . Finally , could listen to him properly .
Then , ya as usual , he asked about general things , not my personal life .
He asked : "How can I go to your hostel from Changi ? (take MRT or taxi lor) ; How much should I pay if I take taxi from Changi to your hostel ? (Dunno , maybe around $25) ; Why so ex ?? I thought your hostel is near from Changi ? (That's last hostel la , in Bartley , ofc near ...) Anyway , how to subscribe to BlackBerry internet service there ? How much is that ? (Hmmm just buy SingTel card la , then subscribe lor , its $20 per month , or around $5 per day and $15 per 1 week) ; So should I subscribe for 1 day or one week if I'm gonna stay there for 4 days only ? (Hmmm you can use my number , subscribe to BB SingTel for 30 days then the rest of the package I can use lor ) ; How much is the price for the entrance ticket of Universal studios ? ( Hmmm around $72 ) ; Anyway , how's your Chinese ? Getting better huh ? (Ya lor , everyday listening to people around me speaking Chinese of course it's increasing my ability) ; The taxi uncles there can speak what language ? Can I talk in Cantonese to them ? ( Hmmm , depends on what kind of taxi uncle , if they look Malay then you speak Chinese to them , normally they'll be confused for a while then ask 'Apa ? Cakap apa ?' but if they look Chinese then talk in Chinese lor or maybe they understand Cantonese also ? I dunno ...) ; How much you pay to subscribe for iPhone ? (Hmmm $7 per week but if my quota is still full till the next week , I just need to pay $1 to renew my subscribe ) ; Anyway , is it expensive to eat in Kopitiam ? (Hmmm not really , it's around $4 and above ); Where to eat with cheap price ? (Hawker center ! I ate chicken rice only $2.50) ; Is your hostel far from eating places ? (No , it's quite nice , near shopping malls and hawker center ) ; Why you always go jogging at night ? (So many reasons , can't mention them) ; How to go to universal studios ? (Take MRT or taxi lor , but I recommend you to take MRT then walk there through Sentosa Boardwalk , much more nicer can take pictures a lot with nice view , confirm mom will make Didi's camera memory full of her pics) "
And a lots of other questions that I can't remember , but he always asks me general questions .
Ya , now I can't sleep anymore ...
Later need to go to Chinatown also , buy calico , cotton bias tape , and thread .
6 Apr 2013
So Damn Happy (part 2)
Today I'm so damn happy . Finally , what I was worried and thinking for so long last time , have just been answered today . From now on , I don't need to worry too much . And ya... I was wrong , I didn't waste my time , and finally , he's not the twenty something guy who reject me . My feeling was wrong before , no wonder it's getting stranger and stranger out of my control...
Last time I was afraid also if it would be like my last case , I liked a guy then he asked me to wait , but ya nv been together . I was afraid that it would happen again now . But ya , it didn't happen . He asked me to give him time , and now , I know the answer of everything already .
The thing that I must do now is , making this relationship last longer . Whatever happens . I must keep it last longer lor . Except that he wants to break up , then I can't do anything lor , true love can't be forced . So ya , I'll just do my best .
My mom told me , that I'm no longer young , as a girl , means that it's time to look for a serious relationship , not to play around or just play play with guy , or changing guy frequently . Ok la , that's correct , and anyway , I never initiate changing guy lor , normally it's the guy's initiate to leave me , not me , I'm more into making it last longer , except that from the very first time I already felt that I dun like him then it's different case . I still remember that my longest relationship was 1 year , it's because I always tried to make it last longer , till then one day he said that he liked another girl , so ya , said bye bye lor .
But in this case now , I like him already from the first time , so ya , I will do try making it last longer la .
Haha , I'm so damn happy right now .
Last time I was afraid also if it would be like my last case , I liked a guy then he asked me to wait , but ya nv been together . I was afraid that it would happen again now . But ya , it didn't happen . He asked me to give him time , and now , I know the answer of everything already .
The thing that I must do now is , making this relationship last longer . Whatever happens . I must keep it last longer lor . Except that he wants to break up , then I can't do anything lor , true love can't be forced . So ya , I'll just do my best .
My mom told me , that I'm no longer young , as a girl , means that it's time to look for a serious relationship , not to play around or just play play with guy , or changing guy frequently . Ok la , that's correct , and anyway , I never initiate changing guy lor , normally it's the guy's initiate to leave me , not me , I'm more into making it last longer , except that from the very first time I already felt that I dun like him then it's different case . I still remember that my longest relationship was 1 year , it's because I always tried to make it last longer , till then one day he said that he liked another girl , so ya , said bye bye lor .
But in this case now , I like him already from the first time , so ya , I will do try making it last longer la .
Haha , I'm so damn happy right now .
4 Apr 2013
I Hate It !
Aiya... if you dunno how to handle or dun want to be with me , don't give hope la ! Really really waste my time you know ?? Every day I stare at my phone waiting for your What's app like an idiot . I know it's my fault and it's my stupidity , anyway , I also don't blame you . I just hate my self sometimes for being so stupid . I already remind my self not to fall too deep , but I dunno why , out of my control , my heart keeps falling for you every day . Stupid stupid stupid . I know , love is blind but besides , love also makes people become stupid , can't think properly also . Love is not logic , but love also can make people become honest of them self , also love never lie .
I think , I just need to do my best , whatever happen next , I don't care . At least , I already done my best . I can't force him to like me also , because feeling can't be forced . True feeling must be naturally happened .
Oh damn , when can I quit this strange feeling ? I really hate uncertainty .
I also will hate him so damn much if he only play play with my feeling , I also have no idea about what's his purpose if he only play play with me . I thought last time his ex also played his feeling , I thought he must understood already how does it feel like when your feeling is played ?
Hmmm ok la , I don't care also . Life must go on mah . Lucky I'm not so idiot like what any girls do when got guy play their feeling , suicide . What the hell man ? My life is too beautiful to be ended by suicide .
Every time he asked me from What's app at around 12.00 AM plus why I'm not asleep or something . OMG , of course waiting for your message lor !! Aiyoh , so difficult to understand meh ??
Is it so difficult also to understand that behind my saying "Hmm okay" there's something that's not okay sometimes ? Like when you said you can't hang out this week coz you're busy ?
Okay , I understand , you're busy , I do understand about that , but please do understand about my feeling as well !
Well , if you ask me whether I hate you or no , my answer is no , I don't hate you , but I miss you . I miss the old of us , when we often talked to each other , I miss the moment when you're not too busy . Maybe in front of you , I can be a good enough actress , hiding my sadness , but my heart is too stupid to be an actress . I still remember , it's like three times or more than it my classmate asked me "Are you okay ?" I was quite shocked hearing that question . I really thought that there's nothing wrong with me . Then I realized that it's my heart that's not right , not my mind . Oh God , I think my heart is really sick till my face expression also can't hide it . Ya , I do look sad lately ?
Hmmm , should I go to NAFA Vertigo party to forget my sadness for a while ? Zouk man ! I want to go actually , but none of my close friends are going . So , ya , no choice , stay home and do your stuffs , Josephine !
I think , I just need to do my best , whatever happen next , I don't care . At least , I already done my best . I can't force him to like me also , because feeling can't be forced . True feeling must be naturally happened .
Oh damn , when can I quit this strange feeling ? I really hate uncertainty .
I also will hate him so damn much if he only play play with my feeling , I also have no idea about what's his purpose if he only play play with me . I thought last time his ex also played his feeling , I thought he must understood already how does it feel like when your feeling is played ?
Hmmm ok la , I don't care also . Life must go on mah . Lucky I'm not so idiot like what any girls do when got guy play their feeling , suicide . What the hell man ? My life is too beautiful to be ended by suicide .
Every time he asked me from What's app at around 12.00 AM plus why I'm not asleep or something . OMG , of course waiting for your message lor !! Aiyoh , so difficult to understand meh ??
Is it so difficult also to understand that behind my saying "Hmm okay" there's something that's not okay sometimes ? Like when you said you can't hang out this week coz you're busy ?
Okay , I understand , you're busy , I do understand about that , but please do understand about my feeling as well !
Well , if you ask me whether I hate you or no , my answer is no , I don't hate you , but I miss you . I miss the old of us , when we often talked to each other , I miss the moment when you're not too busy . Maybe in front of you , I can be a good enough actress , hiding my sadness , but my heart is too stupid to be an actress . I still remember , it's like three times or more than it my classmate asked me "Are you okay ?" I was quite shocked hearing that question . I really thought that there's nothing wrong with me . Then I realized that it's my heart that's not right , not my mind . Oh God , I think my heart is really sick till my face expression also can't hide it . Ya , I do look sad lately ?
Hmmm , should I go to NAFA Vertigo party to forget my sadness for a while ? Zouk man ! I want to go actually , but none of my close friends are going . So , ya , no choice , stay home and do your stuffs , Josephine !
Confusing Memory from High School Life
This afternoon in class , I got notification from Facebook on my iPhone , then that notification made me remember about that memory in high school . Then I talked about this memory to my classmate who was in the same high school with me .
Here's the memory .
When I was in high school , I got this one best friend , just call her Jenna for simple . We're still best friends till now though . So , ok , this girl , liked a guy in my high school , just call him Josh . Jenna already told me that she liked a guy since we were in year 11 (second year of high school) , but at that time she always kept the guy's name as a secret . So , ok , I was all ok with that , since I thought that it's her own business , I don't need to be so kay poh about that . Then , by the end of year 11 , she showed me her inbox on Facebook to me and told me about the guy she liked so far . I was quite surprised knowing that the guy she liked was in English enrichment class also , same with me , but different schedule . I just once saw him in English enrichment class but then after that he changed schedule so we never met again . So I told her that Josh also joined English enrichment class . She was happy knowing that , she asked me to help her by matchmaking her to him . So , I agreed , since she's my best friend .
One day , I saw a poster on notice board at school , it's about English essay competition , and the prize is quite interesting , IDR 10,000,000 (around SGD 1,250) for the first winner . So , I asked Jenna whether she wanted to join in group or no since it's a group work . She agreed , but we needed one more person to join in group , since it must be 3 people in one group . Then she gave me idea , asking Josh to join . Well , that's not a bad idea , since Josh is so damn good in English . But , the worst thing is that she asked me to talk to him about this . I was like , WTH ? Oh please , I wasn't so close to him . I could barely know him , to me , he's a bit weird . But she insisted and kept forcing me to talk to him . So , okay , I talked to him lor . After I talked to him , then we started working together as a team . During typing the essay , they both teased each other , talking about manga , anime , Japan , etc , whatever thing they both liked , they talked . Luckily , they got lots of similarity , they liked the same things as well .
After that , I did still help her to get closer to him . So what I did was texting him , telling him the best features of Jenna . I thought that might help her getting closer to him . I did always forward the message form Josh to Jenna too , so that Jenna could see what I did for her . But the bad thing that I didn't want it to happen is that he thought that I liked him . OMG , no way ! So I told Jenna to tell him that it's her who liked him , NOT me . But she kept saying that she's shy , not brave enough , etc . WTH ...
So , okay I just ignored it .
The next thing happened was when the school ball was held . He just anyhow texted me asking where I was . So I replied lor , I said that I was in school hall attending prom . I thought he just wanted to spy me or something . The worst thing was I got text from him but he didn't text Jenna at all , even he didn't reply Jenna's text . So Jenna was sad . I felt so bad , I didn't mean to snatch him from her lor . So then I told Jenna to confess directly on that day , but she kept saying that she's shy and waited for the guy to confess first . Aiyoh , too damn shy sia .
Then , Jenna asked me whether Josh wanted to dance with her or no . So , I said I didn't know . Then I texted Josh "You wanted to dance ?"
He replied "What dance ?"
Me : "Dance , ball dance "
Then he replied again "I can't dance , can teach me how to dance ?"
I was like , OMG , not meeeee , I won't teach you , ask Jenna !!
So , I texted Jenna lor . I told her to text Josh that she could teach him to dance .
But again like I said , she's way too shy , she asked me to text him .
So I told Josh "Jenna can teach you " by text .
Then he replied ,"I'm going to dance if you're going"
I was like , oh no !! Jenna is gonna murder meeeee
So ok , since then , I felt that I failed to matchmake them ...
I better stop and just let it be . Although I told her already that he's not my type at all but still , I think she did still think that I liked him . Wth... I don't like guy like him lor ...
ok la just ignore it , lol
Here's the memory .
When I was in high school , I got this one best friend , just call her Jenna for simple . We're still best friends till now though . So , ok , this girl , liked a guy in my high school , just call him Josh . Jenna already told me that she liked a guy since we were in year 11 (second year of high school) , but at that time she always kept the guy's name as a secret . So , ok , I was all ok with that , since I thought that it's her own business , I don't need to be so kay poh about that . Then , by the end of year 11 , she showed me her inbox on Facebook to me and told me about the guy she liked so far . I was quite surprised knowing that the guy she liked was in English enrichment class also , same with me , but different schedule . I just once saw him in English enrichment class but then after that he changed schedule so we never met again . So I told her that Josh also joined English enrichment class . She was happy knowing that , she asked me to help her by matchmaking her to him . So , I agreed , since she's my best friend .
One day , I saw a poster on notice board at school , it's about English essay competition , and the prize is quite interesting , IDR 10,000,000 (around SGD 1,250) for the first winner . So , I asked Jenna whether she wanted to join in group or no since it's a group work . She agreed , but we needed one more person to join in group , since it must be 3 people in one group . Then she gave me idea , asking Josh to join . Well , that's not a bad idea , since Josh is so damn good in English . But , the worst thing is that she asked me to talk to him about this . I was like , WTH ? Oh please , I wasn't so close to him . I could barely know him , to me , he's a bit weird . But she insisted and kept forcing me to talk to him . So , okay , I talked to him lor . After I talked to him , then we started working together as a team . During typing the essay , they both teased each other , talking about manga , anime , Japan , etc , whatever thing they both liked , they talked . Luckily , they got lots of similarity , they liked the same things as well .
After that , I did still help her to get closer to him . So what I did was texting him , telling him the best features of Jenna . I thought that might help her getting closer to him . I did always forward the message form Josh to Jenna too , so that Jenna could see what I did for her . But the bad thing that I didn't want it to happen is that he thought that I liked him . OMG , no way ! So I told Jenna to tell him that it's her who liked him , NOT me . But she kept saying that she's shy , not brave enough , etc . WTH ...
So , okay I just ignored it .
The next thing happened was when the school ball was held . He just anyhow texted me asking where I was . So I replied lor , I said that I was in school hall attending prom . I thought he just wanted to spy me or something . The worst thing was I got text from him but he didn't text Jenna at all , even he didn't reply Jenna's text . So Jenna was sad . I felt so bad , I didn't mean to snatch him from her lor . So then I told Jenna to confess directly on that day , but she kept saying that she's shy and waited for the guy to confess first . Aiyoh , too damn shy sia .
Then , Jenna asked me whether Josh wanted to dance with her or no . So , I said I didn't know . Then I texted Josh "You wanted to dance ?"
He replied "What dance ?"
Me : "Dance , ball dance "
Then he replied again "I can't dance , can teach me how to dance ?"
I was like , OMG , not meeeee , I won't teach you , ask Jenna !!
So , I texted Jenna lor . I told her to text Josh that she could teach him to dance .
But again like I said , she's way too shy , she asked me to text him .
So I told Josh "Jenna can teach you " by text .
Then he replied ,"I'm going to dance if you're going"
I was like , oh no !! Jenna is gonna murder meeeee
So ok , since then , I felt that I failed to matchmake them ...
I better stop and just let it be . Although I told her already that he's not my type at all but still , I think she did still think that I liked him . Wth... I don't like guy like him lor ...
ok la just ignore it , lol
Oh My God !
Oh my God ! Finally ! The scholarship matter is over ! I completed all the documents yesterday . One nice lecturer gave me recommendation letter for the scholarship this afternoon . So total I got two recommendation letters . OMG OMG OMG ! I can't believe it ! It's last minute !!! Finally I can complete the all documents that are needed for the scholarship thingy .
2 Apr 2013
Scholarship Thingy
Hmmm , I'm confused with this scholarship thingy at school .
They asked me for recommendation letters from two lecturers . What the hell ? I only got from one lecturer so far , in fact I have to submit my documents by April 5th , 2013 the latest .
Aiyah , like this I think I don't need to submit my scholarship documents by this year . Wait till next year then submit lor . Aiyoh...
This scholarship thingy arh , really makes me go crazy sia . WTH , I have done the photocopy of my documents and now the problem is only recommendation letter ??
Hmmm
Dunno what to do sia . Now I don't think I care about the scholarship thingy anymore . I don't give a damn . Although I don't get any bursary award , I do still can study in NAFA lor .
They asked me for recommendation letters from two lecturers . What the hell ? I only got from one lecturer so far , in fact I have to submit my documents by April 5th , 2013 the latest .
Aiyah , like this I think I don't need to submit my scholarship documents by this year . Wait till next year then submit lor . Aiyoh...
This scholarship thingy arh , really makes me go crazy sia . WTH , I have done the photocopy of my documents and now the problem is only recommendation letter ??
Hmmm
Dunno what to do sia . Now I don't think I care about the scholarship thingy anymore . I don't give a damn . Although I don't get any bursary award , I do still can study in NAFA lor .
1 Apr 2013
Stuffs that I Want
I dunno why I suddenly want to have a thumb drive that is small with unique shape that looks like a necklace pendant . So that I can wear it as my necklace and bring it everywhere . No more forgetting my thumb drive , no more making my thumb drive 'swimming' inside the washing machine (no way I wash my necklace !) , also nobody will ever guess that it's a thumb drive instead of necklace pendant . Hahaha . Dunno where got people sell it though .
Also , I want a piano inside my room . You know why ? I think it's the only thing that can make me calm down whenever I'm panic or feeling heart sick . I like playing the slow songs that can refresh my mind ...
Oh okay , right now I dunno why my feeling also getting stranger again . Sometimes I feel that he wants me , sometimes I also think that he hates me or something . Hmmm such a really strange feeling . I really wonder when can this uncertain feeling gone ? When can I get any answers of my questions inside my heart and mind ? I hate uncertainty . I hate the fact that the only certain thing in this world is uncertainty .
Maybe people who read my blog will think that I'm an emo or something , but one thing I can guarantee you , if you were me , I think you would do the same things la .
Just like 18 hours ago I said good bye to him after I went out with him , but now I feel like missing him so damn much . Wth...
Okay , I think I got some feeling disease...
Anyway , I really liked today's Singapore Art Scene's class . I can't believe it !! Today was the first time I and my group got no bad critics at all from my lecturer during presentation . Oh thank God ! Finally my group can get good score ! Really , I was afraid before I did the presentation , afraid of getting scolded . I already prepared my self to be scolded as well . But then , we got no scold ! OMG !!!
The funny thing happened also when I ate lunch with my best friends in Kopitiam Bras Basah . My best friend from Vietnam , told me and my Indo best friend about her ex . OMG , her ex is so sweet guy I guess , dunno why my best friend never accepted his request to be back in relationship . If I were her , I would just accept him again to be back in relationship again . Really , he's so sweet , my best friend said , early in the morning , she got a text message from Vietnam , ya from her ex . He texted her in long way . Saying that he still miss her whatever happens . He said that maybe if one day he found any other better girl , he will never forget her , because he can never be as happy as when he was with her . OMG , my face was red when she read her text message from her ex . Till my Indo best friend asked me "Eh , why your face turning red ?? This message is belong to her , not you , you know ??" Then I said ,"I'm sorry , my feeling is too soft ... I'm so touched by that message ! I dun have that kind of ex , all my ex dumped me like a garbage , and I also can't imagine if the guy I like right now sent me that message , early in the morning ... OMG ! Early in the morning ! Confirm if that happened to me , I would be so damn happy today ! Dun care my lecturer scolded me or what I would just be soooo damn happy !!"
Ya , then my Indo friend was like..."uh... okay..."
Haha , omg , when can I get that kind of text message ??
I'm really really waiting for that kind of text message from someone I like you know ?? I think every girl is waiting for that kind of text message also from the guy they like ? Haha...
Also , I want a piano inside my room . You know why ? I think it's the only thing that can make me calm down whenever I'm panic or feeling heart sick . I like playing the slow songs that can refresh my mind ...
Oh okay , right now I dunno why my feeling also getting stranger again . Sometimes I feel that he wants me , sometimes I also think that he hates me or something . Hmmm such a really strange feeling . I really wonder when can this uncertain feeling gone ? When can I get any answers of my questions inside my heart and mind ? I hate uncertainty . I hate the fact that the only certain thing in this world is uncertainty .
Maybe people who read my blog will think that I'm an emo or something , but one thing I can guarantee you , if you were me , I think you would do the same things la .
Just like 18 hours ago I said good bye to him after I went out with him , but now I feel like missing him so damn much . Wth...
Okay , I think I got some feeling disease...
Anyway , I really liked today's Singapore Art Scene's class . I can't believe it !! Today was the first time I and my group got no bad critics at all from my lecturer during presentation . Oh thank God ! Finally my group can get good score ! Really , I was afraid before I did the presentation , afraid of getting scolded . I already prepared my self to be scolded as well . But then , we got no scold ! OMG !!!
The funny thing happened also when I ate lunch with my best friends in Kopitiam Bras Basah . My best friend from Vietnam , told me and my Indo best friend about her ex . OMG , her ex is so sweet guy I guess , dunno why my best friend never accepted his request to be back in relationship . If I were her , I would just accept him again to be back in relationship again . Really , he's so sweet , my best friend said , early in the morning , she got a text message from Vietnam , ya from her ex . He texted her in long way . Saying that he still miss her whatever happens . He said that maybe if one day he found any other better girl , he will never forget her , because he can never be as happy as when he was with her . OMG , my face was red when she read her text message from her ex . Till my Indo best friend asked me "Eh , why your face turning red ?? This message is belong to her , not you , you know ??" Then I said ,"I'm sorry , my feeling is too soft ... I'm so touched by that message ! I dun have that kind of ex , all my ex dumped me like a garbage , and I also can't imagine if the guy I like right now sent me that message , early in the morning ... OMG ! Early in the morning ! Confirm if that happened to me , I would be so damn happy today ! Dun care my lecturer scolded me or what I would just be soooo damn happy !!"
Ya , then my Indo friend was like..."uh... okay..."
Haha , omg , when can I get that kind of text message ??
I'm really really waiting for that kind of text message from someone I like you know ?? I think every girl is waiting for that kind of text message also from the guy they like ? Haha...
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